November 30, 2007

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  i just want to cry. again. for the 3rd time today.
  im tired of this. im tired of running and hiding.. im tired of not knowing.. anything.
  im tired of feeling out of place or alone.. or desperate.

  
  

  in all aspects of life.

  
  

  if i told you what was really going on.. you'd judge me. you would.
  if you knew what i was really feeling, you'd tell me get over it.

  
  

  im tired of conforming. i hate it. whether its christian. or secular. or whatever.
  i hate conformity. i cant even tell the difference between whats God and whats not.

  
  

  i feel blind. i feel lied to and cheated.
  im lonely, too.

  
  

  but you dont care. you think im dramatic. or overly anxious.
  so what if i am. does that mean i shouldnt be heard?

  
  

  on top of all of this other- i broke my mothers heart.
  she learned i wasnt a virgin. she asked. so i didnt lie.

  
  

  i've been offered a job in vegas. part of me says "hell no. danger zone"
  part of me says "do it. clean break. start fresh. theres no past there."

  
  

  once again im at a crossroads. with no money and no direction.
  and i just want to cry.

  
  

   

  • 1:16 am
  • 3 Comments